- God could never forgive my past.
- I didn’t go to seminary and I’m no theologian.
- Deep down I’m just no good…God can’t use
Have you ever had thoughts like those?
I certainly have, and they produced a painful cycle of despair where I felt inadequate in God’s eyes. I felt guilty, too, because I hadn’t prayed. I hadn’t read the Bible. I hadn’t “been good.” Those crazy thoughts led me to figure, “God will surely use somebody else.”
These lies became a breeding ground for ever-growing thoughts of inadequacy that formed a negative and myopic view of my worth to God and his Kingdom.
DO WE REALLY MEAN IT?
We say it over and over, “use me Lord…use me!”
But I wonder if we really mean it. Could it be that if we meant it we would have done something—anything—to get started so God can have something to work with? Or we put off starting to wait for the “perfect ministry.”
Think about it. We pray that God uses us for his glory and our joy. It sounds good on the surface, but means little if there is no follow-through or it emanates from a selfish heart seeking kudos for doing the work.
But asking to be used by God may be the wrong question, anyway.
The real question is more like, “Do I have the guts to get out of my comfort zone and do something to get started.” That’s the pertinent question because God doesn’t ask us to destroy the darkness and chase away our thoughts of inadequacy to serve him. He asks us to jettison our fear and make a move!
NO MOVE, NO COMMITMENT
Not making that first move delays our commitment to serve. How can we finish something that never starts? How can we find our passion sweet spot if we don’t start? How can we impact or save lives if we don’t start?
I know all about this because that was me—no commitment.
During this time I was terrified God would send me to a foreign country to pass out leaflets from a bike.
Fast forward to today, and I will ride a bike for God any time, any place. The growth that led to that change started when I ditched my thoughts about building a “spiritual resume.” God could care less about our achievements or how many friends and followers we have on social media. We cannot view Christian service as a job where we check things off a to-do list. The goal is not to be a producer. It’s to be a transformer.
God wants to use every believer who humbles themself before the cross. Don’t be discouraged, God has a glorious plan for you just waiting for your attention so he can do the rest. And he will. Try looking at it like this: God has painted us in a dappled palette of shadows and light. It’s up to us to discover our very own, customized palette so he can deploy us.
Remember, God is more transformational than he is transactional.
“Greater is He who is in you, than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4
