Mark Affleck

Are YOU Bathing in the Warmth of SELF-PITY?

February 11, 2022
Spiritual Growth

SPIRITUAL LONELINESS—feeling separated or distant from God–is not just the absence of joy; it’s the pain of separation from the Lord and others. On the coin’s positive flip side is how SPIRITUAL LONELINESS can push us toward a deeper and more authentic relationship with God where we can fight off feeling lonely and experience relational balance with him and others. But we must first CLOSE THE GAP between us and God.

Reconnecting and drawing closer to God—closing the SPIRITUAL LONELINESS GAP–is tough work to be sure. God’s part is easy. He’s always ready to greet us in his inner sanctuary. But we often make it difficult on ourselves by dancing with self-produced pity which “validates” negative circumstances and marinates our soul with hardships—past and present.

The sin of SELF-PITY comes when we look at our life without recognizing God as our Lord and Savior. Once we remove God and the Holy Spirit and what he did for us on the Cross from the equation, there is NOWHERE to go but inside ourselves to understand our life.

That’s when we quickly tell ourselves that since God is not here “on this one,” we have earned the right to turn on the SELF-PITY faucet and start bathing in its poison. If we’re not careful, it’s “imposter warmth” can tempt us to soak and soak and soak.

The first step in knocking down SELF-PITY and getting out of its poisonous bath is heading straight to God’s Word. But don’t panic when you cannot find that precise term in its pages. That does not mean the Bible is silent on SELF-PITY. Far from it, in fact.

The only reference to pity comes from Jesus who leaves the word SELF completely out of the verse.

“Jesus put His hand on him with loving-pity. He said, “I want to. Be healed.” Mark 1:41

THAT Godly version is the only pity we should be thinking about on our faith walk.

So how do we neutralize SELF-PITY? GO TO GOD (James 5:13).

That’s what David did in the face of being betrayed and maligned. With seemingly every right to turn on his own SELF-PITY, he instead went to God (Psalm 54:2–3).

SELF-PITY is neutralized by the very act of going to God. And then it is vanquished by the power of Christ and Holy Spirit.

I ask God to keep me from whining and whimpering in my own SELF-PITY. To turn my attention to his healing help—the only solution to the SELF-PITY problem.


Maybe it’s right now. Maybe it will be tomorrow. Perhaps it will be a little further down life’s road. But the SELF-PITY assassin will appear. What will you do?

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation; and uphold me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51:12

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

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