The world has been preaching SELF-LOVE for a long time. For Christians, the latest trend is the idea that loving YOURSELF first is the key to loving OTHERS. That sounds okay at first blush. But a little digging in God’s Word makes it clear how this is a distortion of biblical truth.
Here’s the reality: God doesn’t command us to love ourselves more. He calls us to love others with the same intensity that we already love ourselves. That’s a game-changer.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE REALLY SAY?
The Apostle Paul lays it out clearly:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” Romans 13:9
Notice what’s not being said. Nowhere does Paul say, “First, make sure you love yourself.”
Why? Because self-love is already built in. Jesus assumes that we naturally seek our own well-being—so the challenge isn’t to love ourselves more, but to extend that love to others.
Paul doubles down on this in Philippians:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4
See that? The focus isn’t on boosting self-love; it’s on shifting our love outward.
TRANSFERRING SELF-LOVE TO OTHERS
Paul’s instruction to “love your neighbor as yourself” is meant to redirect our natural self-care toward the people around us. That means:
- If I’m struggling with fear, I should help someone else through their fear.
- If I’m facing hardship, I should walk with someone else through their hardship.
- If I long for joy and fulfillment, I should seek to bring joy and fulfillment to others.
This does NOT erase my need for happiness or healing. Instead, it activates God’s design—where love given is love multiplied. When I invest in others, I experience his power transforming both of us. That’s how God works.
SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you transferring YOUR desire for happiness, perseverance, and fulfillment to OTHERS?
Jesus set the ultimate example:
“…no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” Ephesians 5:28–29
Just as Jesus nurtures and cares for his people, we are called to nurture and care for those around us. That’s where true joy and purpose are found—not in obsessing over self-love, but in reflecting his love.
Let’s live this out. Let’s love boldly, beyond ourselves.