The despair that comes with comparing almost always goes unnoticed because we have become proficient at covering it up with our faces and facades. Diversions and denials. Strivings and success. People around us don’t know that a volcano is about to encase our soul in its molten coffin. And they certainly don’t know that we have lost touch with God.
That was me early in my faith walk hiding behind mansions and sports cars.
It’s nothing more than a game—a sham, really–that has us performing for everyone but God. We don’t even know some of the audience members, but we still act as though their approval is the only thing that matters.
We play this game to soothe our hearts so we don’t feel empty. We mistakenly think there is peace hidden somewhere in the superficial blather we see in the media and then mimic to the world. It’s a bogus dead-end.
Hiding imperfections and masking guilt residing in the soul shows we haven’t fully embraced God’s forgiveness and yielded control of our life to him. We have given in to the cycle of deception to live a life of quiet despair.
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25
The huge effort we put into showing our polished form of “reality” is compensatory for the feelings of guilt we feel inside and have no choice but to reveal on the outside. We do not think we are a worthy person for anyone let alone God. We need to cover up our “bad thoughts” and imperfections by being pleasing and socially acceptable, at least on the outside. The last thing we want to think of ourselves as is broken bread without pretension in front of Christ.
It’s sad. It’s a shame. It’s a lie.
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